Monday, January 17, 2011

something i wrote last year, but still rings true:

525,600 minutes of only letting the comfort of the defined frame set around my eyes be the satisfaction of what i climb for. the structure of the idea of a young girls dream lead to this surreal fantasy that turned this life around. making continuous routes and endless rays of light. until the control of a hopeless tragedy began to let this beautiful dream slip away. to become only but a kept promise and a withdraw from whatever it was that made the world stop turning. it wasn't that we forgot. it wasn't that we had to grow. what it was. we won't know. why it's not able to fix, depends upon the vows we swore to keep dreaming of.

i let myself fall short. keeping nothing close,, running from every possibility that could help turn the lights on, planting seeds and and picking the flowers that grow. watering the sheets of what i slept on. piercing the flaws of a unique limb on a ineffable, undefinable, creation.

for the insanity that kept us sane that planted our every waking minute to the adventure i swore to be a dream, the insanity that kept our eyes wide open to find endless possibilities and the strength of tomorrow, that insanity kept me sane. you insane filthy mind. believe that it will be ok. and that this world is scary, and knowing that i vowed 525,600 minutes ago. and for the passed 262,800 minutes i yearn only for the best. the beauty of the breakdown: i'm still here. and that i can all i can. but for now. i close my eyes and dream only because dreaming is all i ever knew. letting reality, eff over.

i don't know what next.
because the creation only the world has one of can't be. with out the soul, where is she now? flown south for the winter.

eastern sky, broken sundown. let the sun rise and swing me backwards looking up to only see my feet.


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